Moving on!

After our break up Val would call, follow me and also had me watched!  Yes, that is right I said watched!  He had people that were assocated with his family that could tell him about places I went and people I saw.  He knew things that you would not believe....as I myself did not believe!  Time went on and I met a someone in the Navy.  David was his name.  I really don't remember how I met him.  He was you could sa my first love!  He was from Florida and lived in Goose Creek with three of his friends that were on the same sub as he was.  His personality was the best!  My mother sure did like him, and he would agree with her about everything all of the time.  We would go out now and then and if I were not with him I would be sitting by th phone waiting for him to call!  I think that our relationship was more one sided.  You see I cared for him more so than he cared for me.  Not saying that he didn't like me he just didn't love me.  I wanted more.  It was like when he wanted to see me, it would be to his conveniance.  It didn't matter to me though, I took wht I could get ad that was just fine with me!  My Junior-Senior prom came round and yes he did take me, which was a shoke to me when he said he would take me.  This was one of the most important days of my life and I will neve forget that he took me.  He picked me up on that special night and he drove his best friends firebird w/t tops.  He thought he was the coolest thing around (well he always thought that)!  He wore a peach color tux and I'll be damned if it didn't match my dress.  The trim of mine matched te color of his.  We were a match made in tacky!  However, we left with good intentions on having a nice evening!  I was overwhelmed and very excited!  He took me to a restaurant downtown Charleston called Henry's.  The food was good but the screwdriver was better!  I had two and didn't feel a thing until I stood up and took a few steps!  What!  I remember the sidewalk moving one way as I went the other!  By the time we arrived at the port authority where our prom was held....I felt better.  We entered in and stood in line for two hours to have our picture taken, danced one dance and left.  Not what had expected but.......We were invited by my friend that lived next to me over to an after party held at the Dorchester Motor Lodge on Dorchester Rd.  Boring is all I can say about that, he would not have anything to do with me, he said sex was not what he wanted me to remember about that night.  He wasn't kidding!  I loved him still the same. 

My Youth Taken!

For weeks we dated and time passed by.  We did grow closer, however I wasn't ready to give him my all.  We went out one night and he drove me to an old realstate building on hwy 17 in Mt. Pleasant, SC.  He drove around to the back and parked the car.  Yes we kissed and yes I liked it because I liked him.  He got out of control and I thought that I wanted to go all the way, I really didn't know any better and didn't know how to say no.....and when it came right down to it I screamed out NO!  I told him that I had changed my mind and he said to bad that I was going to do what he said.  I cried out and No over and over came out of my mouth, he was to strong and went on to tak advantage of me and what he wanted!  Scared and not knowing what to do I lay there and tried to go somewhere in my mind as so I didn't have to go through what was happening to me.  I felt lost and wanted to go home....he told me not to tell anyone and I had better keep my mouth shut.  He told me that he loved me and I felt so dirty!  I was lost and very stupid not to tell!  He wanted to see me again and I thought maybe he was telling me the truth and that some how it was my fault, that maybe I had led him on and that he could not control himself.  I know now that no fault of mine that this had happened to me.....I didn't want to lose my virginity to him or anyone else especially the first guy that I went out with.  I should never have blammed myself!  He should have paid for what he did to me!!  Just because he went to the Citadel and I didn't want his life to be ruined....MINE WAS!  I continued going out with him, I figured that I was spoiled and that I should be with the man that said he loved me.  We dated a few years ad then the time came that I ended up getting pregnant!  YES PREGNANT!  My mother found out when we were on one of her business trips in Columbia, SC.  On our way home I began to cry and told her that I thought I might be pregnant.  And of course my mother right away told me that I would have to have a abortion.  That Val had to finish school and that a baby would ruin that for him....there was no thought on how I felt about the situation.  I wanted to have my child and died inside the day that it was taken fom me.  I lay on the couch in my living room and he entered the front door....I told him as I lay there and could not look him in the face crying to leave me alone and that we could never be together.  It had made me sick to know that he was even in the room with me.  You see he could have atleast been there with me, not there then not there now!  I drifted into myself and into a lost deprssion!  I knew that I would never be me again.  

First Love!

First love came my way in 1978, I was sixteen and in the High School Marching Band.  We were to
perform on Saturday night for the half time show during Certoma Classic, which was held at Johnson Heygood Stadium.  I attended Wando High School, and very proud to represent our football team.  Practice time was early that day and we had to go over the show many times.  The weather was hot and the sun had no mercy.  Members of the band were passing out from the heat.  Cadets from the Citadel helped out with directing bands, and also kept order through out the day.  I noticed one of the cadets eyeing me.  He followed me most of the day.  Saying nothing all the while just looking my way.  I must say that I was very interested as to what he might have been thinking.  During the show that night as I sat with my girlfriends, he approached me with a smile and a nod.  Small talk is how it started and went into what were we all planning to do after the game.  I told my mother which was one of the chaperons that he had asked me out.  She felt that I was to young to start dating and I told her that this was not really a date, that we were just going to one of the band members homes for an after party. His name was Val, Valntine to be exact.  He was in uniform and seemed to be a nice guy, I learned alot about him that night.  He was from Florida, he was Italian, he only had his mother left in his life, he was in the bagpipe band at the Citadel.  We talked it seemed like forever and then he had to return to the school, they had a certain time to be back.  He asked for my number and told me that he would call me on Sunday.  This is where my nightmare began!